A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 002

Xmas Competition

Collective names can be beautiful, illuminating or simply fun. A charm of goldfinches, an incredibility of cuckolds, a squabble of actors, are examples. But what about Santa Clauses? Is the collective name a sledful? Or a parcel? How about a flurry? This column will pay $3 from its meager recompense to the best collective name for Santa Clauses it receives. Winner to be announced in two weeks time.

Santa Claus news

Strafford County Law Enforcement Association members, through fundraising efforts, bought a large number of gifts, with the assistance of Welfare Officer Trudy Pence. These were recently distributed by Santa Alan C. Claus and Santa Louis R. Claus to children attending Rochester Development Center, Strafford Learning Center, Farmington Readiness and Head Start. Worth a special mention are Sgt. Brown & Chief Worster for their exceptional efforts in this cause.

Jaycee Women held a Santa's Workshop in the Town Hall on Saturday, Dec. 8, as part of a fundraising drive. Santa George T. Claus & Julie T. Claus were two of the highlights of the afternoon, along with excellent home-baking. Jaycee Men, not to be eclipsed, have just finished a highly successful Santa's Hot Line, which allowed local children to talk to Santas Doug T., Ted B., and Tom H. Claus as well as Mrs. Melissa B. and Lisa T. Claus. The chapter wishes all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Meanwhile, behind the scenes an interesting battle for the hearts, minds and memberships of local people is being waged by the two organizations, with the situation not a little confused. Since the signing of a man by the Jaycee women, the men have responded by recruiting six women into their ranks, enabling them to out-Claus their counterparts. Responding to a suggestion that their "hot line" was due to their not having multiple Father Xmas costumes, President Tom Harding said, "We got suits."

Farmington Head Start held a party on Dec. 11 for 30 children on their program. Held in the Congregational Church, presents were distributed by Santa Paul X. Claus, and were the result of a magnificent effort by the parents who raised $245 in a bake sale and drawing. Meanwhile, Archie Corson remains the Santa Claus that Farmington forgot.

Full many a gem of purest ray serene

The dark unfathomed depths of oceans bear.

Full many a Claus is born to blush unseen

And waste his Ho! Ho! on the childless air.


Farmington C.A.P. Outreach Worker Kim Sherburne, who has directed operations since September '83, has announced that she will be leaving her post on the Dec. 21 to go to A Safe Place, a shelter for battered women and their children located in Portsmouth.

Ms. Sherburne, whose hobbies include growing fungi in coffee mugs, is looking forward to her new position, having been involved on a volunteer basis with the organization for some four years.


Farmington Fire Department members, fresh from their training success of burning down Mooney's Mill, have done it again. This time the victim was a house a.k.a. 20 Central Street, deeded into their clutches by Farmington National & Savings Bank, the site being earmarked for redevelopment. Firefighters were co-ordinated by local Fire Chief Richard Moulton.

Training was divided into three sections, and Deputy Fire Chief Joel Plante co-ordinated the rotation of the various crews. In charge of Search & Rescue was Alan McCready of Center Barnstead who instructed in the use of breathing apparatus and search and rescue drills. Lieut. Dave Wheeler of New Durham taught ground and aerial ladder techniques and ventilation procedures, while Ky Goslin of Farmington took charge of live fire drills. It was an altogether impressive training session, providing over 100 men with valuable experience in tackling fierce household blazes. It is not known if any Santa Clauses were involved.

Selectman's Meeting - Saturday, Dec. 8

This was a mammoth six-hour session of which the following are mere snippets.

Landfill hours: After a discussion regarding hours of opening over the holiday period, involving local trash collector Willie Wilkins, it was decided to open the town landfill on Dec. 26 and close on Dec. 25 and Dec. 27 as this will allow Mr. Wilkins and others who "really get splashed heavy" at this time of year, to make some inroad into the Christmas aftermath. The landfill will also close on New Year’s day. Selectman Plante (alias Fireman Plante but not Santa Plante) said that he was beginning to suffer from the DDTs or dumps, dogs and taxes.

A long discussion with Percy Day, Road Agent, Esq. then ensued, with many themes from the previous week regurgitated. Culverts, bridges, engine swaps, white monsters and cookie deals were all touched upon. On the basis of skim-coating a 20-ft wide road to a depth of 3/4 inch at a cost of $19,000 per mile it was proposed to be economically feasible to cover two miles of town roads per year. More discussion followed and phrases included "two yard bucket", "sweeping and patching", "shooting the grades" and "water running uphill". Perhaps these tantalizing scraps of conversation will lure a member of the public onto the empty benches.

Mr. Gregoire of Sheepborough Road (site of a proposed new culvert, Mr. Gregoire) then asked the selectmen's ruling on a temporary mobile home he had put on his land. "Would it require a foundation?" he wanted to know, even though it was only there until a permanent house was built.

"Yes", ruled the selectmen, indicating that six strategically placed concrete piers would comply with the ordinance if they (the piers) bore the weight of the trailer. Selectman Willis Berry then made a short, stirring speech in which he thanked Mr. Gregoire for his honesty and concern in complying with the town statutes. Willis then jammed the town Pepsi machine with a Canadian dime, and looked embarrassed.

Dec. 18, 1984

FC Home1                       previous                     next