A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 018

School News: Civilization is 40 poems the richer, thanks to Main Street School, with Easter being the main theme of this cultural lava flow. Bunnies were there, and chirping birds, and bees and God and food in all its various forms. Here is my favorite, by Kristin Cardin, that makes use of one or more of the afore-mentioned subplots.

She neatly displays the importance of pace for carrying the reader through...line five is inspired.

Give thanks on Easter Morn

On Easter morn the sun raises high

With the smell of turkey pie

To remind you that Christ died for

Each and everyone.

So let's all at that turkey pie

And thank God we're still alive!

Only the limitations of space prevents the publication of further gemstones, but copies of the entire project may be obtained from Main Street School, courtesy of Mr. Bibbo. Four senior citizens appeared at Hill Home, to be recited at (out of a possible 11 oldsters). Three teachers and 21 pupils and three teachers opened fire on them with 40 poems. Two reporters watched.

Wood Doed Good: Several pieces of balsa wood will represent Farmington in the World Finals of Odyssey of the Mind, to be staged at the University of Maryland on June 6th and 7th. These slivers were arranged in winning formation by Gary Costanzo, Peter Smith, Toby Reynolds, Janice Jackson, Dawn McDonald, Lise Dore and Robert Nienhouse at the recent State Championships in Rochester.

Out of gas: A non-carbonated soft drinks machine has been installed for the nutritional benefit of pupils and staff at the elementary school. Available is juice of grape, juice of apple and juice of High C.

Out of luck: Naturally, not all who enter can be winners. Pupils from Main Street School did win distinction of a kind, though, in the brain-storming section of Mind Odyssey. When asked by judges to list things that were Green or that turned Green, they produced the grossest answers ever encountered.

In Luck: The population of Farmington is indeed blessed with good fortune. On April 11, from 7 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at the High School Educational Fair, they will have a chance to see for themselves Mark Varney's and Mike Mucher's world famous revolving Christmas tree decoration. (Light blue touchpaper and stand well back).

C.A.P. news: There has been "great enthusiasm and participation" in the Adult Tutorial Program. All those interested in tutoring or being tutored, please call Gayle Richards on 755-4454. Spring cleaning has started in the office, and C.A.P. staff would be pleased if local citizens would avail themselves of the great variety of free clothing that has accumulated. Known as "The Mound", these recyclable garments sometimes obscure Marion Dusablon from public gaze.

Selectmen's meeting of April 2, 1985

The major part of the evening was taken up with a public hearing regarding the proposal to create a skating rink on land owned by the town off Lone Star Avenue. At present, this land is marshy, with two brooks meandering through the one acre site. Alan Spear, presenting the development plan, said that if the green light was given and if the proposals were feasible, work would be carried out, at no cost to the Town, by the 368 Engineer Battalion from Manchester.

These part-time soldiers, over the course of four weekends, would clear brush, haul out bad fill, haul in good fill, and line the brooks with stones. They would create a skating area as near as possible to a full-size hockey field, with a smaller ice patch for younger children.

Through my naive European eyes, I saw nothing controversial. Wasteland to recreational land might even equal progress, I thought. Will people break into applause? The answer was "No."

Upspake abutter Mrs. Legere, who declared that the site is rat-infested and who fears that any disturbance by bulldozers would result in an invasion of her land and house by rodents.

"They are gigantic things!" she divulged.

"Musk rats, sewer rats or river rats?" asked Selectman Scruton out of curiosity.

"RATS!" said Mrs. Legere emphatically. "I have heard them gnawing through the walls," she added.

Scruton informed the meeting that there was a visible/invisible ratio concerning rats, and that by counting all the definite sightings and multiplying by a magic number, the rodent population of an area could be estimated.

"How many rats have you see, altogether?" he asked of her, amid an atmosphere of rising tension.

"Two," she replied, rather spoiling the moment, "plus the gnawing. Also, the water in that brook is not good."

Percy Day confirmed this in horror movie fashion. "Something's running in that brook and it's not just water," he said sinisterly.

What could it be? A Triffid? A Dalek? Something that could peacefully co-exist with rats, obviously. It transpired to be sediment, which was a little disappointing, as a film title along these lines did not sound like a box office draw. "The Night of the Killer Sediment. Plus Gnawing" Hmmm!

A business-like approach to these twin irritations was adopted. Water Chief Dale Sprague was directed to take water samples above and below the site and ascertain if sewer leakage was occurring. The Health Officer is to be sent to the location to advise on the destruction of the rats.

Mrs. Legere then informed the meeting that the water table on this land was near the surface, and that interference here might well result in adverse effects to abutters.

"If the water table is so high, none of you can have cellars," said Selectman Kenyon, which set off an outbreak of mutterings which contained reasons why most people do in fact have cellars.

"Would the people who thought up this idea like a park in their backyard?" continued the resolute Mrs. Legere, taking a new tack.

"Yes," said Selectman Scruton with sincerity.

"I will vote 'yes' on this issue if a piece of land that is a swamp will be improved, without causing the town expense," said Kenyon.

"Do you think it is fair to do this and not put a fence up? That's gonna cost money," said the ever-present Biff, throwing a new spanner into the wheel of progress.

"Where does the liability stand regarding water in the cellars and rats?" asked Mrs. Legere, joining in the attack. Alan Spear said that he hoped that with the improved fill that would be brought onto the site, the drainage in the area would be greatly helped.

"The State would not give a dredge permit otherwise" he said.

The selectmen, in conclusion, asked that water contamination and rat infestation reports be made available to them by April 14, at which time the feasibility of the scheme would be reviewed. A letter would be sent to the Army, expressing the concerns of the abutters, and asking for their views.

Footnote: Three years ago, Mrs. Legere tried unsuccessfully to purchase the land in question from the Town. Article 36, town Warrant, 1982. One wonders how, if she had chosen to develop the site, would she have solved the rats and water table problems. Or would it have stayed a Wild Life Reserve?

Vested interest declaration: As recreation director for Farmington I have the strongest possible desire to see the town develop a variety of sporting and parks facilities, and personally consider the plans for a skating rink on this site, subject to Army approval, to be well worth pursuing. So does every kid in Farmington that I have talked to.

Jaycee news

The Farmington Jaycees are pleased to announce that from six members in December, they have proliferated like Easter Bunnies, to achieve a population of 20 regular and four associate members. In this regard, special thanks are due to Mary Plante and the State Officers, for a combination of hard work and faith. The recent bake sale in support of Shooter Education raised $68.80. The recent bake sale in support of Farmington Jaycees raised $51.46.

Bean supper news

Down from the ridges,

Oer culverts and bridges,

Poured six hundred ravenous Farmington folk,

Last Saturday eve,

And you'd better believe

They had empty and cavernous stomachs to stoke.


The Firemen's new station

Was their destination,

For a monstrous eat-in of ham, beans and pie,

Such an orgy of munching,

And guzzling and crunching,

With ne'er a free seat in the building, forby.


There were red beans and brown,

By the ton load choked down,

And mountains of coleslaw, with ham on the side,

Wild hordes then did grapple,

Pies pecan and apple,

'til 7 p.m. saw an ebb in the tide.

Noxious gas cloud

A mysterious cloud of hazardous gas hung over the town, late last Saturday night. Although an alarm was not publicly sounded, it is believed that the cloud was closely monitored by E.P.A. and Civil Defense officials, who, at one stage, considered an evacuation plan for citizens down-wind of Farmington.

Fortunately the noxious gas gradually dispersed during the hours of darkness, with no recorded fatalities. Flights paths of aircraft using Rochester airport were affected for a short time.

Police news

Peter Cosgrove, Farmington Police Department Youth Officer and recent recipient of an eight second zap, bounced back last week to hand over a $40 check to the Community Center. The money will be used to finance a canoeing and hiking trip in May, involving kids who Pete considers would most benefit from such activity. $25 donated by Farmington Grange will also be earmarked for outdoor recreation. Thank you both.

Outdoor Club

On a recent canoe trip down the Isinglass River, Mr. Ramgunshoch produced a grubby plastic container, which contained, according to him, 10-year old single malt highland whisky.

"Laphroig!" he announced proudly, waving it around.

"Radiator fluid!" screeched Steve Carberry, clutching his throat after a reckless sip.

"Crank-shaft oil!" spat Earl Harding.

Sometime later national honor was restored when a deceitfully cheery Ramgunshoch waved the Harding-Carberry canoe over a waterfall. In the ensuing capsize and flap for the bank, Earl's hat was swept down-stream and out to sea. Luckily, his missing headgear was replaced by a crown next day, achieved in the father/son pool tourney.

Dogs news

Congratulations to Mr. Porky Hussey, who recently received one write-in vote for a seat on the Budget Committee. He has just been presented with a small pooch, name of Fifi, which will assist him in his business of locating aluminum cans in deep undergrowth. A keen cyclist, Mr. Hussey was the first person to sign up for the impending Bike-a-thon for St. Jude's Hospital.

April 9, 1985

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