A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 023

Santa News

Santa's mailbox, atop a slender pole outside Sandy's Coiffures, has already attracted some Christmas requests that tug at the heartstrings. Little Larry Kelly has asked for a real policeman's hat, while young Joel Plante would be happy with a shiny new red fire engine. On Saturday, Dec. 21, Santa will appear at the Dock Square Restaurant at 2 p.m., to listen to such pleas, personally, and to dispense seasonal fare.

Earthshattering News

Linda Quintanillia Bushway, born and raised in Farmington, and now a resident of Mexico City, gave a vivid account to junior high pupils of the quake that devastated the area recently. Linda, who is the sister of Cathy Condon, was incommunicado for four weeks after the disaster, due to the total destruction of the telephone system.

Pain In The Neck

With the 20 wild dogs of Meaderboro Road still striking terror into the hearts of the populace, Farmington Business Association is taking no chances with its Christmas tree, currently on view in the center of town. Unimpressed by the combined protection of 18 policemen, two dog officers and "Shotgun" Vic Lapierre, the prudent traders have, by means of a tubular metal bracket hoisted their fir tree 20 feet up in the air, where it should be secure from all but the tallest of grazing giraffes – and these are not frequent visitors to Farmington in the winter months.

Dec. 18, Readiness and 1st grade, under choirmistress Jolles, will perform Christmas carols in three locations, between 12:30 p.m. and 1:30 a.m. At the Town Hall, the drug store and the library, they will sing Jingle Bells, Rudolph, We Wish you a Merry Xmas and a special composition that runs:

Twinkle twinkle little star

How I wonder where you are

Up above the world so high

Like a Yule tree in the sky.

Gardener's Corner

The young people of Farmington, through their dances and drinking of Pepsi, have financed (and respected) the placing of flowers and shrubs at various locations in town. The Library, Legion Hall, Town Hall and Community Center have all benefited at no cost to the taxpayer. Last week, the biggest job of all was finally completed. Memorial Drive School is now skirted by 350 feet of planters, which will eventually contain bulbs and flowers alongside the evergreens. Helping Zeke Ghareeb and I in this mammoth task, carried out in a variety of weathers, were kids too numerous to mention. Most of 5th and 6th grade had a finger in the pie. The final spadefuls of mulch were put in place, however, by Barry Eliot Jr. (8) and Jeffrey Baud (7), as snow whistled down and the ground froze up for the winter. Thanks to Mr. Woodward who shook the nickels and dimes out of the school drinks machines and donated his truck, and to Cameron's Garden Center for their advice and generosity. Roll on Spring!

Selectmen’s meeting

Ups And Downs: Donny Martineau of the School Board stoutly defended the three sleeping policemen at the rear of the school, and was alarmed by the possibility of the road crew withdrawing sanding and plowing services, as reported last week.

"Shoulda had dips," said someone.

"Helluva time to bring up dips now we got bumps," commented Mr. Day, the patron saint of truck suspensions. In a surprisingly cordial atmosphere, opinions were expressed by many in the room on the virtues of dips vis-a-vis bumps, with factors like icing, drainage, effect on springs, best avenues of approach, and cost to tax-payer, all given consideration. An Irish jig went through my head:

There were half a million people there of all denominations,

The Protestant, the Catholic, the Jew and Presbyterian,

Yet there was no animosity no matter what persuasion,

But failte and hospitality inducing fresh acquaintance,

By the whack fal the do fal the diddley idle day.

The most offending mound of tar was fingered as the one guarding the lower western approaches to the high school, and this will be given the closest possible monitoring. Only Percy's most experienced drivers will be permitted to do battle with it. Should it win too many rounds, Mr. Martineau will throw it out of the ball game. Thus, through magnanimity and compromise, after only twenty minutes, business proceeded to the next item on the agenda.

The Dump Padlock Key: One thought that Dec. 15 was Changing of the Lock day, but now we're talking Jan. 3. When is a subsidiary issue anyway. The crux is Who. Everyone, it seems can make a strong case for having a key, and they are equally adept at undermining rival claims.

"The Fire Dept. should have one," said a backbencher, presumably a member of that body.

"They can smash their way in," responded someone else.

Then it was recalled that on the last occasion of a fire at the dump, the lock had proved to be of a superior quality. The Police were a lukewarm suggestion. Mr. John Fitch, being the health officer, was marked down for a key.

"How about Hinkle-dinkle?" queried Road Agent Percy Day of his counterpart in the Water Department, but this did not engender much enthusiasm. Several other minor claimants were also rebuffed and the final decision was Three Keys, one each for Police, Health and Highways. Then a voice asked, "What about Ivan?" But he just works there.

Sweeping Praise: Mr. Carrol Edmunds Wood, affectionately known throughout the town as Woody, asked the Selectmen "Should the sidewalks still be swept off when it ain't storming?" At present the road crew sands the sidewalks on an average three times per week, and Woody sweeps the sand off again with roughly the same frequency. "It don't make sense," he said. It was decided that sand-sweeping be suspended at the discretion of Mr. Day, and that Woody would continue to be responsible for litter. The selectmen took this opportunity to praise Mr. Wood for fine workmanship and this sentiment was echoed throughout the room.

Santa's Mail Box: Latest requests - Dale Sprague (a.k.a. Hinkle-Dinkle, see above) would like a 3/4 ton truck for plowing snow and general work throughout the year. This would replace his 1974 vehicle. Percy Day is asking Santa for a one-ton truck for similar purposes.

Dec. 17, 1985

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