A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 024

Tally-Ho! Ho! Ho!

Great melodrama came to rural Farmington in Christmas week, as Mr. George Brooks witnessed Seamus Sprague, Irish Setter, (and one of the 20 Wild Dogs of Meaderboro Road) streak across open country vigorously pursued by an angry blur. At first Mr. Brooks took the persecutor to be a rocket-fuel-assisted Trudy Pence, homing in with the ruthless determination of a heat-seeking missile. However, inspection through binoculars revealed Seamus to be fleeing for his life from a ferocious bobcat.

A theory is now circulating that this killer lynx may be radio controlled, albeit there was no evidence of inventor Mark Varney in the vicinity. Perhaps Varney, who only last year invented a revolving Christmas tree decoration for the Easter market, is aiming to fill the currently vacant post of vice-deputy-assistant Dog Officer No. 4.

Culture Comes But Once A Year

The date of the long-awaited 3rd Annual Exhibition of Art at Farmington's Goodwin Library has been announced. It will run during the second week of February from the 10th -17th. And yet, and yet, Culture is under our very noses. It was a moment of riveting excitement for me to discover that the picture of President Kennedy, on daily view in Kristie's Restaurant and Lounge, and weekly ridiculed in this very column, is not a photograph, nor a lithograph, but a major work in oils, with the signature of the Old Master responsible just obscured by the frame. John Fitzgerald stands, a solitary giant dressed in beach slacks, abstractedly twiddling his spectacles and looking out over the sea (to the Bay of Pigs, a pragmatist suggested). From around his head, wispy clouds keep their respectful distance, while mystically suggesting to the viewer that a failure to vote for this Colossus might result in rain. It is the clear duty of all readers to visit this shrine to the Arts. No appointment necessary, at this stage.

And, as the cock crew, those who stood before

the Tavern shouted, "Open then the door!

You know how little while we have to stay,

And, once departed, may return no more."

(Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam - Fitzgerald's translation.)

The Son Has Got His Hat On

Mr. Archie Corson, member of Santa's Volunteer Reserve, himself received a curious gift last week - a rare photostat snap of Police Officer Steven White wearing headgear in the shape of a camouflaged jungle bonnet. White, along with fellow officer Buttons, was posing after his successful rock-climbing ascent of Whitehorse Ledge earlier this year, during which the policemen addressed each other by the courtesy title "Rambo". Also in the summit party were the unlikely combination of teenage D.J. Richie Smart and old Mr. Ramgunshoch.

Gym Prim, Trim & Slim

Over the past few days, town hall janitor Roger Belanger has taken advantage of the break in the basketball schedule to give the gym floor several protective coats of polyurethane. The Community Center dance profits giveth and dancing feet will surely, in time, taketh away. As will Ladies Volleyball feet, now returned to a Tuesday evening, with Men banished to a Monday. Karen Benoit (755-3037) will be leading her slender band of keep-fitters through their musical paces on Mondays and Thursdays re-commencing in the New Year.

Cribbage Player Gets 19

A speedy recovery is wished for card sharp Wayne Spear who recently underwent a hip operation in Ward 19 of Frisbie Memorial Hospital. If all goes according to plan he should be patient-of-honor at the next Community Center Cribbage Tournament on Jan. 15, 1986.

Farmington - Good Race Relations

Farmington received a foreign Christmas card this week that read: "We are the English people who ran your marathon in October. Knowing how difficult it is to put on a race we have been meaning to write and say how much we enjoyed it and to thank everyone who helped. We will visit again if we are over next year and if you put the race on we well be there! We think your event could become a classic". - Jim & Alison Farbon.

Doggies Bagged

Dog Officer No. 3, Emmanuel Krasner, penetrating deep inside rebel-held territories in the Meaderboro Road sector, was successful, last week, in single-handedly capturing two of the band of 20 dogs that hold sway over that region. He then handed the prisoners over to Dog Officer No. 2, John Fitch.

Note: Submitted Dec. 19, 1985 and published on

Dec. 31, 1985

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