A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 025

Selectmen's Meeting of 12/18/85

Last week the new hours for the dump were chiseled in granite to stand until the end of time, or the next Selectmen's meeting, whichever came soonest. This week the new, new dump hours, rescinding all previous edicts, are: Mon. 8-3; Tues. 9:30-4:30; Wed. 9:30-1; Thur. 9:30-1; Fri. 9:30-4:30; Sat. 8-3.

It was decided to approach the High School (watch those bumps) and ask pupils to make a sign stating the new, new hours. Don't use granite.

Vic Lapierre then handed out copies of a letter to the Selectmen, setting forth his views on the new hours of the septic lagoon. A speech, he explained, would have caused him to get too riled up. Most people, excluding reporters, thought the letter a good idea. Vic confined his verbal remarks to a horrifying description of sewage freezing on the way to Somersworth, and this sufficiently appalled the decision-makers, to render needless the production of samples. They decided that from Nov. 15 until April 1, the police will hold a key for Septic Lagoon, and in the case of Septic Emergencies after normal hours, an officer will accompany Mr. Lapierre or a fellow hauler to the lagoon. Such incidents will be logged.

Water Fuss: Farmington has aggressive water. So has New Hampshire. So has New England. The way to cure this is to pipe it in from an area of limestone rocks, such as Louisiana, although with the expense of such an operation, it is likely that taxpayers would drink cyanide first. Dale Sprague, head of the water department revealed that all state requirements are being met as regards primary considerations (arsenic, lead and heavy metals). Secondary or esthetic considerations (alkalinity, corrosivity, color) are, on occasion, exceeded, but the bottom line is that the Town does not accept liability for the corrosion of Mr. Moody's water heater.

Town Hall Coup: The meeting then went into executive session to discuss dog personnel at the request of Marshal Colwell, Dog Officer No. 1, with his No. 2, Deputy Dog Officer John Fitch, a veteran of three weeks standing, at his side. It was rumored that due to the recent success of Dog Officer No. 3, they were going to request a mass swearing in of temporary officials until the current plague was overcome. This proved to be false information. In fact, a massive power struggle was taking place, and this was revealed in the statement that the Selectmen issued to press and public at the end of the secret discussions. Marshal Colwell has retained his post as Head of the Dog Department, but his number 2, Deputy Dog Officer is now Heidi Colwell, nee Pence, and Dog Officer No. 3 is Trudy Pence, Welfare Officer. It is thought that John Fitch graciously declined the mostly ceremonial role of Dog Officer No. 4. Fitch did comment, with a twinkle, that the Welfare Dept. should not run short of meat.

Food from the Good

The workers of the Davidson Rubber Plant have done it again this year. The Welfare Office of Trudy Pence was stacked almost to ceiling height with canned goods and toys collected and donated by those that work at the factory, prior to a small army of volunteers descending to help wrap gifts, make up food parcels and deliver Christmas boxes to the less fortunate families in the area.

Note: Submitted 26th Dec. 1985 and published on Jan. 7th. I am now on strike! Again!

Jan. 7, 1986

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