A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 032

Banished once more to the land of eye-strain type after last week’s unexpected vacation in the sunny glare of page one.

Women's Club Dissemination Of Facts

The Board of Selectmen, the Police Department, and the Hallowed Knights of Basketball may, on occasion, delude themselves into thinking that they hold a small vestige of authority in town, but everyone knows that the real power broker, in a superficially male-dominated society, is Farmington Woman's Club. They can make or break a man over a cup of tea. It would be a suicidal act to incur their wrath, and even now, I feel I am typing on eggs. Oooh!

Therefore, it is with fear and respect that I bring their activities to the attention of the readership respect, because they are a thriving, socially conscious group of people, whose programs include a nurturing of the arts, charitable fund raising, and a healthy interaction with other organizations; fear, because sooner or later I am bound to land in the soup with some misinterpreted remark. (Some outright impudence, you mean - Editor.)

President Laura Perkins, on an unexpected vacation from the Middleton column, enunciates that the ladies are collecting yards of pennies (37 inches = 50 cents) with the proceeds helping to support an Easter Dinner organized by the Welfare Dept. They are also collecting cookies and Easter candy for those elderly persons who are confined to their houses.

The Woman's Club were recently entertained by Farmington High School chorale, and are looking forward to the visit, on March 21, of a local poet who will give a recitation of her own work. This exiting event has already prompted another rhymer to record the occasion with a couple of verses.

The Ballad Of Blanche McGee

A bunch of the girls were whooping it up,

At the Goodwin Libraree,

When a yell for quiet assailed the riot.

"Hush up for Blanche McGee!"

She shot her poems from the hip,

The words spat out like lead

Or darts, and pierced their hearts,

Blanche knocked those ladies dead.

And down below, where the bookworms go,

And the chandeliers do sway,

A peace unknown was thus bestown,

And the staff all breathed, "Hooray!"


Police News: Police state that nothing unusual or newsworthy has occurred in the last seven days. Oh yeah?

Boondock News: Mr. Boondock Butt reports that everything is calm on Ten Rod Road. This is possibly true as the Ten Rod Speedway controversy has not finally emerged from the labyrinths of court procedure. Will the Circle be Unbroken? Watch this space.

Botanical News

Farmington, hailed by some as the Athens of New Hampshire, will soon become the Garden of Eden, if I am reading the signs correctly. Astute local businessman, Stuart Pease, has just acquired a fig tree, and is expected to begin selling leaves as soon as the weather becomes sufficiently warm to allow the divestiture of winter attire. I am not certain if it is possible to reserve a particularly appealing leaf in advance. Do not call 3703 for further information.

Music Corner: Mr. Mahoney, a.k.a. "Sam on Piano," is an accomplished performer on that instrument as the Democratic Party of Farmington can attest. Sam was, of late, the innocent victim of a spaghetti smokebomb, but has bounced back with characteristic ebullience. He is currently giving lessons to pupils out with the town boundary, but would be pleased to take on students who are resident in Farmington. He can be contacted through his musical agent at 3703. Serious calls only. No fig leaves.

Culture II: After news of Poetry and Music, is represented with the results of Mrs. Gagnon's celebrated Design a Bookmark competition. The remarkable outcome of this exercise was that every single entry succeeded in its primary function of allowing the interrupted reader to resume his book at the page whereat the mark was inserted. Some of these rectangular slips of paper were fractionally more decorous than others, and on this basis, or that of a witty inscription, were the winners decided. They are:

1st/2nd grade...Robin Garry 3rd/4th grade...Christina Wrobel 5th/6th grade...Nathan Snow

Community Center News

After an inexplicable absence of exactly one month, Jack Haycock, a well-known silhouette on any horizon, appeared on the day of the Junior Pool Championship, and captured the major trophy. Charles Ouimette was runner-up. Haycock returned one day later to lift the Ping Pong Gold Plaque with Ted Healey taking the silver award. You can't keep a good dog down. Ask Marshall Colwell. Ask Smokey Lapanne.

Help wanted: reliable pizza buyer; two half-hour sessions twice weekly. Must be discreet. Reply to Box 3703.

Pole Star: Flag buffs should kindly note that I erroneously reported, in a past column, that the Town Hall pole received the daily attentions of Roger Belanger. This duty is, of course, carried out by Allen Drew. Please amend your records accordingly.

Carnival Results

Snowshoe Hurdles - 1. Elizabeth Nute 2. Paul Turner

X/C Skiing - Senior Men 1. Colin McArdle 2. Gary Chesley Senior Women - 1. Chris McArdle 2. Joyce Nutter Juniors - 1. Matt Gordon 2. Anne Chesley

Toboggans - 1. Mark Rancourt 2. Gary Costanzo

Inner Tubes - 1. Eric Jolles 2. Richard Howard

X/C Snowshoes - 1. Elizabeth Nute 2. Wild Bill Vachon

Nerf ball golf 1. Wendall Camp 2. Frank Tufts

Canoes - 1. Mark Gordon, Matt Gordon, Mark Rancourt 2. Richard, Cheryl, Janice Howard

Snow Sculpture 1. Davidson Rubber Company

Special thanks to: Farmington Country Club, Farmington Business Association, Davidson Rubber Social Committee, Farmington Parks & Recreation, High School Cafeteria Staff, Cameron's Sod Farm, Cardinal Snax, Varney's Market, Betty Mros, Anne Hogue, Sandy Canney, Jean Johnston, Barbara Spear, Willis Berry, Jean Radcliffe, Wild Bill Vachon, Lorraine Meyer, Steve Goodwin, Bob Hobbs, Sam Gray, Joyce Nutter, Zeke Ghareeb, Percy Day, Wayne Spear and many others.

March 3, 1986

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