A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 038

After Thoughts

Mud After Frost

1. Whose woods these are I think I know,

His house is in the village though,

He will not see me mudding here,

Where saner folk are loath to go!


2. My CJ5 must think it queer

Mired down without a bar-room near,

Besides the Bud, and no mistake,

I'm glad I bought the winching gear.


3. I hope the cable does not break,

The engine's roar makes my ears ache,

The only other sound's the seep

Of beery suds that I partake.


4. The mud is lovely, dark and deep,

And round the axles does it creep,

But I have deadlines I must keep,

And miles to type before I sleep.


Nut Brown Maiden's Mudders of the Week are Mr. and Mrs. Massey. Her latest tip comes from true life experience, as always: "If mud comes in over your vehicle's seats, climb onto the roof to drink your Budweiser."

Dog After Jogger

Paul Turner is a runner, bold,

You may have seen him pass,

A Chestnut Hill Road dog, I'm told,

Snuck up and bit his track suit.

Brownie After Parkers: As a direct result of pressure applied at a recent Selectmen's meeting - street-parking, tire-chalking, time-marking, car-stalking, no-larking, slow-walking Sgt. Brown of Farmington P.D. has been conducting a purge on those who park their vehicles for more than a two-hour stretch on Main Street. Day One netted 11 victims. Particularly hard hit were the ladies of the Woman's Club. This exercise is beneficial to both the town, in terms of dollars gained, and to Brownie in terms of pounds lost. At present on a diet, he has valiantly resisted the delights of a Fitch donut for over two weeks.

Madness After Midnight: Late last Friday, after talking to Roger Belanger, Town Hall custodian, who had disturbed a man up a flagpole (not Allen Drew), I rounded a corner and met Wayne Willey lying under a car, clutching, not a Bud, but a can of tuna. He muttered something about his girlfriend's cat.

Life After 81: The main speaker at the dedication of the new addition of the Goodwin Library, on April 6, was the Rev. H. Franklin Parker, aged 82. which brings us neatly to Mr. Joseph Bean, of Meetinghouse Hill Road who is likewise 82, and who keeps sneaking off for a pot-shot at that Boston Symphony Orchestra kite, still trapped in the tree outside his house. No luck, as yet.

Mrs. Bean declares dismally that it is now flying in perpetuity.

I say: Load up with rock-salt and nails and hand that sucker its track suit, Joe.

Hour After Hour: The Planning Board meeting was a corker and luckily this correspondent was on hand to keep the public abreast of developments. After dealing with the humdrum of gravel pits and boundary adjustments, the board members were then thoroughly acquainted with modern codes of practice by Mr. Jimmy Hicks, executive director of Strafford Regional Planning Commission. Mr. Hicks urged the board to concentrate their energies on the non-frivolous and then followed his own advice with a vengeance. Some of their topics, talked about at length, are as follows: (I have taken the liberty of placing them in alphabetical rather than chronological order, for greater interest.) Conceptual discussions; conditional approvals: conditional precedents; elimination concepts; hypothetical scenarios; impact speculations; negotiating processes; particular factors; preliminary processes; procedural charts; rational approaches; specific exception criteria.

Comic relief was maintained throughout by the ruckus from a prisoner in the police cell, below. Listening attentively from the public benches was Selectman Biff Silvia, who took the opportunity, while visiting his old seat, to check out the date on the fire extinguisher tag, nearby. He never rests.

Time After Time: The Selectmen's meeting of April 9 saw a colossal turnout due to the inclusion of the town dump on the menu, yet again. Selectman Scruton announced that a new man was being sought for the position of dump attendant, following a recent resignation. As the filling of this post was a matter of urgency it was decided that the closing date for applications should be April 16.

User fees, access and hours of opening were also talked about at great length, and the meeting was reminded that there had been three alternations in this last regard, in recent weeks.

"You need a full-time painter changing signs," said Bob Underhill, delivering the best one-liner of the night. This would at least give some degree of stability, I thought. You can't change times till the paint's dry.

P.T.A. After Support: Paul Chevalier, P.T.A. president of Memorial Drive School, extends an invitation to parents to attend the next meeting at which a N.H. State Trooper will discuss "Child safety at home and in the community."

Tim Woodward After Money: The Memorial Drive principal has been successful in his application to N.H. Public Health Trust for a grant of $1,000, which will be spent on programs designed to combat alcohol and drug abuse, through education.

And After That: Congratulations and a happy retirement to Mrs. Elliot who was high school secretary for 82 years. Sorely missed!

Main Street School students now have a lunch choice beyond Take it or Leave it, extending to salad or hot dog or sandwich or lunch or everything.

Horseshoes After Dark: Thanks to floodlighting and the continued use of the horseshoe pits on Chris Kenyon's property, the Community Center is holding a pairs competition ($2 per couple) on Thursday, April 17, at 6 p.m. Prizes for Guy Murby, plus 2nd and 3rd places.

April 14, 1986

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