A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 050

Twenty parrots wanted

The germ of an idea was born when Lorraine Meyer of Ye Olde Brush Factory asked if I would like 20 pairs of crutches. (Weird conversations like this spring up in the Dock Square restaurant of a breakfast-time if I don't hold my Boston Globe high enough.)

"Sure!" I said, wondering what on earth could be done with them that Lorraine hadn't thought of...and then it came to me. A Long John Silver race on Hay Day - 20 Long John Silvers with a score of parrots on their shoulders, eye-patched and peg-legged, on the starting line outside the Town Hall. Twenty eyes scanning the first clue in the dash for the treasure:

"When to Kristie's Bar ye come,

Go ye in and down a rum"

Canít you see 20 one-legged men hurtling down Main Street with 20 shoulder-slung tape recorders bawling "Pieces of eight," "Aaaar, Jim, lad," and "Yo ho ho," before hobbling into Kristies?

The downing of a rum will precipitate another clue on the hunt, and off they'll hop to Peg's Keg and the Smokey Lantern, keeping a weather eye open for the crocodile, or is that another movie? Anyway, back to Main Street the Long John Silvers and their parrots will come, probably finishing near the Congregational Church digging 20 holes with 20 spades in the lawn, or maybe not.

The finish is still a little mysterious, but there will be a treasure chest, and it will contain some flakes (genuine) or Bois-Bibbo gold and some doubloons from Kim Cardinal ... who may be a Long John Silver. George Meyer, who one feels is somehow responsible for this piratical melee-to-come, and who, according to rumor, is a generous man, will be approached for a large number of cents to weigh down the casket, and as a military man, could possible sneak 20 cannons away from Washington.

It sounds like fun and is certainly going to happen as Joyce Nutter has put it on the Hay Day poster - Aug. 23, this year, incidentally). But 20 parrots are needed, 20 dog collars to strap them down, 20 plumbers plungers for peg-legs and 20 Long John Silvers. Wild Bill Vachon has kindly volunteered and is already issuing challenges to E. Nute, snowshoe champion. This, for the purposes of Hay Day, is a unisex event. If you can assist with any of the above items, please call 755-2405. Rum, swords, earrings, excavation sites all needed. Don't delay.

Athens Of New Hampshire: Talent continues to pour into Farmington, unabated, and this week it is my pleasure to reveal the taking up of residence, only a few doors from myself in the Interesting Quarter of Mr. Lefty Lee of Lefty Lee and the Drifters. Lefty Lee, displaying the irrepressible sparkle of someone who has been in the entertainment business for 30 years, recalls sharing a stage with such country greats as Johnny Cash, the Osmond Brothers and George Jones. The Drifters have new faces in the line-up for the 86 season, and prominent among them is no stranger to this column, "Sam on Piano" himself, Mr. David Mahoney, with whom Mr. Lefty Lee is temporarily residing.

Mahoney, whom Lefty describes as "crazier than a bed bug," studied at the Berkeley School of Music in Boston, and may be a trifle ebullient, but it must be acknowledged that in the entertainment scene of today enthusiasm cannot be in excess. M.T.V. is witness to that. The Drifters could have an exciting future in store, although under the guidance of Lefty Lee, they will be steered clear of "rowdy places where the equipment gets stove up." They seem cut out for the campground circuit. Lefty currently performs on harmonica, although previously known in his music career as a mandolin and guitar player. Look out for the name in the weeks to come.

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Whereas by virtue of the authority vested in this column to cut a long press release short, Gov. Sununu has proclaimed July Rec. and Parks month.

Only The Strong Survive: Yup! Things sure are tough at the Rambo School of Minerology, but Jim Bibbo have graduated with high honors. Despite being slugged on the jaw with a 15-pound sledgehammer, only an hour and four stitches later, Jim was back in the trenches, digging for New York State diamonds. That's the stuff Long John Silvers are made of. (Hint! Hint!)

Library News: What could possibly follow Mr. Ramgunshoch's minerology exhibition in Phyllis's showcase, but Mr. Bois's minerology exhibition! With real gold. (Eat your heart out, R.) And the diamonds that had Jim Bibbo in stitches. Yes folks - another Must See in this most amazing of towns. (Full review next week.)

Family Day: Vic and Robert Lapierre, representing St. Peter's Church, captured Farmington Parks and Recreation Horseshoe Trophy for the second year, beating off strong challenges from the Booster Club, Henry Wilson Grange, the Baptist Church and the Selectmen. The Community Center, School Principals, Adventists, Lions, and Congregationalists were also noble in defeat. Several yards away, the P.T.A. won over the high school in the volleyball final, with Meaderboro Church, Baptists and Community Center giving them a tough time. All in all, an enjoyable day, with special thanks to story book character (not Long John Silver) - Ruth Gagnon.

July 8, 1986

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