A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 077

Wanted: sheep's stomach

This may sound a bizarre request, but I am ever so serious. If you happen to have a sheep's stomach lying around, I'm your man. Top dollar paid. Call 755-2926, day or night. The occasion is the Farmington Robert Burns Appreciation Society (Membership:1) Annual Supper, at which it is traditional to eat a peculiar Scottish concoction called haggis.

Haggis consists of obscure parts of sheep ground up with barley, oatmeal and red wine, spiced with mace and pepper, stuffed into the stomach of a woolly ruminant, and boiled to perfection. (Yucko!-Ed.)

The evening follows semi-formal lines, with speeches, toasts, poetry, songs and even dancing, (Hey, Less of the dancing, buddy. - Kendall Willey, downstairs) and may be of interest to some reader or other. Consequently, a spot at the table has been reserved for the person that can answer the ensuing three questions correctly, and give, in the Society's opinion, the worthiest reason for wishing to participate in a Caledonian bacchanalia.

Q. 1 - Robert Burns worked as (a) a peacock breeder (b) a taxi driver (c) a whisky exciseman. Which?

Q. 2 - His brother was called (a) Bubber (b) Gilbert (c) Lefty. Which?

Q. 3 - The Burnsian word "ramfeezled" means (a) completely worn out (b) loved by a sheep (c) inadvertently smashed with a snowplow. Which?

Answers on a post-card, together with a Reason, to John Nolan c/o Community Center, Farmington, by 1/16/87. The date of the soiree, incidentally, is Jan. 24. Among the two dozen guests will be Mr. Eck Elliot of Cape Cod (Immortal Memory) Mr. Herlihy of Rye (Toast tae the Lassies) and Ms. Chapline of Meaderboro Rd., P.B.E. (Toast tae the Laddies).

Winter Carnival

The 2nd Annual Henry Wilson Winter Carnival is due to be held at Farmington Country Club, thanks to the generosity of that committee, on Sunday, Feb. 15. The event will again be sponsored by Farmington Business Association, Davidson Instrument Panel Social Committee and Farmington Parks & Recreation Dept. A highly productive meeting was held last week, at which Zeke Ghareeb refused to re-enact the Battle of Big Cake - see column of February '86. Food was discussed though - loomed large in fact, and the following decided: to hire a generator to power microwaves and stoves for corn chowder, turkey soup, tacos, hot dogs, muffins and coffee; to bring in several oil-drum type grills to ensure spectator warmth and toasted marshmallows; to create good snow paths to the events; to have another bonfire; to repeat all the events of last year, including the snowshoeing, cross-country skiing, canoe racing, toboganning, snow gold and tug-o-war. (Full details in a future column.)

This year, it was decided to encourage the entry of teams of three to six people, who would then have a representative in each event and be awarded points according to their placing, with a trophy to that team with the greatest number of points overall. Expressing an interest in this already are prospective teams from Main Street teachers, Meaderboro Road P.B.E., Davidson Rubber and others. As the lower age limit for the team event is 14 years, several student entries are also expected. Perhaps they will get revenge for being blown away by their elders and betters at volleyball, last summer. Anyone requiring further information or any entry form for the Winter Carnival should call at the Community Center or ring 755-2405.

Hatwatch news

In this hat conscious town, where police headgear comes in two shapes and many sizes, where school kitchen chapeaus are now obligatory and where hunters' caps have given way to woolen ski-knits, Mr. Archie Corson has managed to upstage everyone. Archie was spotted last week supporting a dark blue trilby with smart red piping and embroidered air holes. Cleanshaven was he, and bedecked in a pristine set of overalls.

"My goodness," said an awestruck Brownie outside the laundromat, "a new taxi uniform."

Mr. Corson, who is not a taxi driver, smiled.

Cat watch news

Ronnie Dumont of Kristie's very fine and reasonably priced restaurant has lost his cat. It is large, black and white, friendly, and called Moustache. It was last seen during the snowstorm of Jan. 2, leaving the Community Center in Winter Court, around 8:30 p.m. Ron, who feels that someone may have taken pity on the animal and given it a temporary home, offers a free Hunter's Special and a guided tour of the Kennedy Painting to anyone providing information leading to re-unification.

Splat watch news

One was astonished, last week, to see School Superintendent Bibbo crouched down in the nurse's office while those good ladies parted his hair.

"Oh no!" one thought. But poor Jim didn't have pediculosis - just a nasty bump on the brow, having collided with a file cabinet drawer. Still a "head examined" statistic in the next Town Report, though, one would imagine.

Peacock news

Farmington Peacock Breeders Association has resolved, in the event of the Planning Board being successful in their bid to exclude farm yard animals from the Half Acre Zone, to switch over to ostriches. These two-toed ratites, not being farmyard fauna, should be successful in beating the proposed legislation. They have the added advantage of laying larger eggs, making a more disturbing hiss, and pecking intruders. With this in mind, FPBA may well boycott the public hearing on the 13th in favor of Cribbage Night at the Community Center.

Meanwhile, spotting a potential market for wooden birds is junior businessman Chris Scruton (15) of Meaderboro Road, nephew of ordinance revision architect, John Scruton. Chris was busily carving a decoy duck last week in Art Brunt's workshop, having just recovered from an exhausting but rewarding Christmas Tree operation during the vacation.

Athens of New Hampshire

Dorinda Howard, taking time out from a Goodwin Library packed with Main Street students researching various projects, gave news of the impending Exhibition of Art and Crafts in February. Two photographers, Stacy Moores of New Durham and David Frank, formerly of New York and now of Farmington, had called in to get details of the show, and had promised examples of their work. This year, it has been suggested that the exhibit should be housed in the roomier quarters of the museum, underneath the library - a wise move when one considers that more work from local people comes in each year. In other developments, Jeannie Blinkinsop-Blinkinsop, Outdoor Club member and artist in her own right, has undertaken to read children's stories to kids in the library on Tuesday afternoons.

Hold that headline

Oh happy day! Share my joy, o reader! Sheep's stomach located! All hail to thee, Pat Frisella, shepherdess of Meaderboro Road (Planning Board End).

Jan. 13, 1987

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