A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 095

Ballbouncing cometh, large signs goeth

In the beginning, the taxgathers created Farmington Town Hall Gym, and the gym was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of Mens' Ballbouncing. And Parks and Rec said: Let there be a league, and there was a league and it was good apart from the squabbling. For lo, I say unto you, that in the very first season did Basketball Boulay smite Jimmy Mabey, and player pileth on player, until they were prevailed upon with the words: A fine is with thee.

And in the second season, Farmington Nets begot Farmington Raiders; Farmington Bud Men begot mutinous and begot Bob's Garage and Cardinal Snax; and New Durham begot Curly Randall who begot tickets to a Patriots game, and begot the whole team drunk, and verily, they begot blown away on their return for an evening fixture. And in this, the second season, Basketball Boulay smiteth not.

And it came to pass that in the third season, New Durham became old men in rocking chairs, and Davidson Rubber, too, falleth into the mouldering pit of senile decay. But Basketball Boulay stayeth young, and did rise up and smite Mouse Hagar, he who even belongeth to the tribe of Boulay by marriage. Hmmeth! Behold that in this the third season, East Rochester loseth all and showeth a league record of 5-48, but blessed are the meek, and there shall be no shame, for their is the kingdom of softball.

Yea, and in the fourth season, Cardinal Snax were mutinous and begot Durham Mobil, and Bob Emerson of Square One begot Berwick Bandits, and the league was fruitful and multiplied to eight teams. And on the Sabbath day, doest not the Farmington Town Hall Gym reverberate with the very thud of basketballs, and mighty are the cries of the great house of Ballbouncers. And merry hearts doeth good like a medicine.


What is pink, with 10 legs, and has 400 eyes on it? (Answer at foot of column)

Post 60 News

On Nov. 20, American Legion Post No. 60 will hold their annual turkey raffle. Four big food baskets and 10 individual turkeys must be won, according to Allen Drew. Tickets are $1 per book and are on sale that evening and in advance at various locations, including the downtown flagpole at sunrise and sunset.

The Law Is The Law

Part II: We return to the not too distant a Farmington where the illegal sport of Bicycling at Whim has been crushed by the vigilence and zeal of Sgt. Brown and Animal Control Officer Fitch. This victory has allowed them no breathing space, however, for ordinances are being flouted in many other sectors.

And as we join the action, Brownie and Fitchie have adopted commando tactics, and are lying under a spruce tree, gazing intently across Route 11, towards Bud's Star Market.

"What do you think? It looks way outta line to me," whispered Sgt. Brown to his companion.

John Fitch focused the glasses on the window of the grocery store and read JIFFY CORN MUFFIN MIX - 4 for 97 cents.

 "No doubt about it, Brownie," replied the A.C.O. "That's a 5 x 4 sign in a 7 x 4 window. That poster is occupying two-thirds of the available window space.

"In flagrant violation of the town of Farmington sign ordinance. As I understand it, signs cannot exceed one-third of the glass pane," muttered Brownie, his hand tightening around the handle of a 16-pound sledge hammer.

"Let's see if they'll come peaceable, first. Pass the bullhorn, and I'll try to talk 'em out," counseled Fitchie. "OKAY, YOU GUYS IN THERE WITH THE ILLEGAL MUFFIN MIX SIGN. HANDS ON THE HEAD AND LIE FACE DOWN IN THE CAR PARK."

Almost immediately a white-coated figure appeared in the shop doorway, hurled an egg defiantly in the direction of the town officials, and shot back inside.

"Here we go," sighed Brownie, "better call for reinforcements......"

Bean Supper News

At the big one, the Firemen's Bean supper, statisticians divulge that 478 plates of beans were handed out, with an average helping of 3.326 oz. per plate. Approximately $700 was raised for the Fire Department's funds.

Rah-rahs resume

Peewee cheerleading, with its thunderous battlecry of "Do the Funky Chicken" returns to Farmington Town Hall Gym on the 21st of November, from 10:30 until 12 noon, each Saturday.

When Winter's O'er

At a recent summit conference of Seacoast Parks & Recreation directors, Farmington was chosen as the site of the Senior Olympics Horseshoe Tournament. Guy Murby and Beanie please note, among others. Fernald Park will be the spot. The last Saturday in April, 1988, will be the date.

Latest Scores: In a surprising change of the lead, up on Ten Rod Road:  Stella's Cats - 5    Stella's Dogs - 7

Riddle-me-ree: The answer is An All-male Review.

Nov. 17, 1987

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