A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 098

Go with the flow

Duck-hunters, fishermen and plain old recreational canoeists should soon be singing the praises of Tilcon-Maine, a local gravel-mining company with links to a multi-national giant. As reported way back in January of 1986, Tilcon owns land in Farmington that straddles a section of the Cocheco River, and to gain access to the more remote side, trucks trundle daily over twin culverts which were placed there by the previous site operators, Vickers Gravel Company.

This may have been handy for Vickers, but it sure inconvenienced everybody who had a mind, and a perfectly legal right, to take a boat trip down the river towards Rochester. These culverts created a portage at best, and in times of high water, a serious hazard caused by a strong suction.

"Caution!" advised the A.M.C. river guide in bold black type. Well, soon these double horrors will be a thing of the past, as Tilcon, even as you read this, is working steadily on a bridge that will, on completion, replace the pipes. Plant manager Jonathon Oakes expressed hope that the work will be finished up in the spring of 1988, and allow the culverts to be hauled out.

Then there will be a clear passage on the 10ę mile trip from Farmington to Rochester, which is described in the canoe guide as "ideal for the novice whitewater canoeist, with many sharp turns, a number of riffles, and some Class I rapids." What better way to celebrate the freedom of the river than with a canoe race in early May? It's something to think about over the winter.

Naming That Color

The winner of Name that Color competition is local librarian Ruth Gagnon, who is now $3 the richer. Her suggestion for Sandy's Coiffures was GOLD-ilocks, and for the Fire Station (Home of the All Male Review) it was GREEN-and-bare it.

Ruth considers an appropriate description of the shopping complex comprising Rufus the Barber, Osgoods, and Barratt's 5 & 10, could be a Plague of BLUEbonic! Mr. Ramgunschoch was noteworthy among other entrants, but unfortunately his suggestions were much to libelous to commit to print.

Gardener of the Month

In September it was Mr. Bubber Haycock. In October, Ronnie Dumont. And for the month of November, it has just been announced, Gardener of the Month is none other than Mr. Ramgunschoch. Mr. R. decided recently to introduce a splash of early color to the front of Farmington Town Hall by planting narcissus bulbs all around the War Memorial and in the flower boxes that flank the municipal building. It was on a raw chilly day that he did this commendable chore, and his hands were numb with the cold by the time he completed the task. Then he read the label on the box: For Indoor Growing Only. Hmm! He was close to hypothermia by the time he had substituted the narcissus for hardy tulips.

In a bid to win his title back in December, Bubber will soon be planting colored electric bulbs around the Show Biz block, but the Road Crew are hot favorites for the coming month, by virtue of their excellent work with the downtown Christmas tree.

Athens of New Hampshire

Farmington High School home economics teacher Nancy Brown has been responsible for a couple of cultural events in the Burtman-Rondeau Auditorium (also known as the gym) lately. First, the folk-singing lawyer, John Perrault, gave a concert for students, and last week U.N.H. Opera, performed, on stage, Red Riding Hood in front of the assembled young people. This particular work was billed as a comic opera, and the humorous aspects of it were certainly enriched during the Russian Dance sequence when janitor Willis Berry inadvertently wandered across the stage, drinking a cup of tea.

Nancy, assisted by Judy Gillies, Catherine Costello and Jane St. Onge, plan to continue this fine series in 1988, with Senator Rudman talking about the Constitution, and musician T.J. Wheeler celebrating Black History month with a history of the blues. Also included on the guest list are M. L. Carr of the Celtics, to focus on drug and alcohol abuse and prevention, and Andover High students will perform skits on teen problems.

Brown has received funds for this highly commendable program from N.H. Arts Council, from Davidson Texatron and from FNS Bank. To fulfill her plans, which include bringing a choir to the auditorium, possibly before Christmas, Nancy Brown still has to raise $500. If you think that these type of events are beneficial to the school curriculum, perhaps you might consider sending a small donation to her, c/o Farmington High School, Memorial Drive, Farmington, N.H. 03835.

Other school news

Back at that Burtman-Rondeau Auditorium, on Dec.16, the elementary school will perform "Santa's Back from the Future." I am sure he will have a lot of interesting things to tell us - perhaps the Planning Board will have declared Rudolph's nose an illegal illuminated sign. Maybe the spaceship that the reindeer pull will have to have a $5 license from the Town Hall. Santa, alias Rich Hogan, will tell all, along with Mrs. Claus, Carla Cameron and a cast of dozens. Music will be provided by the Beginners Band and the Intermediate Band, along with the Choir Chimes.

If this trend continues, one day there may be as many musical instruments in town as handguns.

Food news

The dubiously legal illuminated sign outside the Fire Station is advertising for Saturday, Dec. 12, a LIONSí CLUB SUPPER. I am surprised that some enterprising wag has not re-arranged the letters to read IíLL BURP UP SCONES!

Dec. 8, 1987

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