A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 101

The best laid schemes

Deputy Fire Chief Joel Plante took out his snow blower for its first spin of the winter last week, and tugged on the starter cord. He was surprised and a little annoyed when it snapped, as the machinery was virtually new, having been purchased in the spring of 1987 and stored over the summer in his shed. His investigations led him inside the works, and the cause of the failure was quickly uncovered.

The incident sparked a poem from the well-known pen of Mr. Ramgunshoch, loosely based, apparently, on an earlier work by an obscure fellow Scot.


Wee sleekit, cowrin', tim'rous beastie,

Oh, what a panic's in thy breastie!

Thou needna start awa' sae hasty,

And poor heart tax;

I would be laith to rin and chase thee

Wi' fireman's axe.


Ye've nestled in my new snow blower.

And nibbled up the means tae power,

A cord-lined nest! It makes me glower

And want tae choke ye;

But och, I'm really no that sour,

I still the joke see.


For Mousie, thou art no thy lane

In proving foresight may be vain;

The best-laid schemes o' mice and men

Gang aft a-gley,

And lea'e us nought but grief and pain

For promised joy.


Our water tanker at the Station

At first filled us with great elation

But then its frontal elevation

Brought black dismay

Now there's ensuing litigation

'Bout who's to pay!


Farmington Town Players

Having chalked up a success with Neil Simon's "The Last of the Red Hot Lovers," the Players have decided to follow this with a popular musical show that will be enjoyable for the entire family. Their particular scheme is to present "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" on a trio of April evenings. A three Dog Night, in a way. Directing this show will be Bob Tait, who runs WCYT in Rochester, and Debbie VanGelder of Lone Star Avenue and off-Broadway, will be assistant director. Musical director is Keith Hutchins, the talented pianist and teacher from Main St. School. Watch this column for notice of auditions for all parts - probably commencing in mid-January.

Ambulance Corps News

President and founder of Farmington Ambulance Corps, Mr. Seymour Bowden, has just retired after 15 years of service. The membership are presenting Seymour with a plaque to commemorate his service to the community, and have voted Vic Lapierre, who has been vice-president for 10 years, to the top position in the Corps. Unfortunately, a dump padlock key does not go with the job. I think it should ... supposing, for instance, one of those illegal pickers got injured in the middle of the ;night, or an ice-skater fell into the septic lagoon...

Christmas Lights - The Winners

The prizewinners in Farmington Business Association's Christmas Lights competition are: 1. Rodney Waldron, Lone Star Ave. ($100)

 2. Aloa Cameron, Ridge ROad ($75)

 3. D. Whitten, Route 11 ($50)

 4. Barbara Cameron, Cameron Drive ($25)

 One To Watch In '88

Few Farmington residents are aware that the town has a Conservation Commission consisting of five members and with representatives from the Selectmen and the Planning Board, just to underline its importance. Even one of those five appointees was surprised about the existence of such a body, I observed at a recent meeting.

"So do we write off to this Conservation Commission, or what?" asked Prisco DiPrizio, during a lull in the debate.

 "No," said Chairman Kurt Olson, looking slightly astonished, "That's us. We are the Conservation Commission."

I was reminded of the Mad Hatter admonishing the Dormouse. This hiccup notwithstanding, the conservationists are preparing to cruise over the horizon into the public gaze, with several warrant articles at next town meeting, and a request for a budget. Is this a Good Thing? One must answer a qualified "Probably." One must also point out that the Meaderboro Road area again seems to be well represented, with two representatives and one member hailing from that neck of the woods. Hmm.

Hats And Mittens News

Dear Davidson Rubber and President Gorbachev,

If you caught last week's column, you may be expecting a note from the school nurses asking for a few children's mittens. It's okay. The members of the Baptist Church dispatched a welcome supply of woolens to Mrs. Urquhart just a few days ago.

Henry Wilson Grange News

A veritable avalanche of poetry struck the ears of Grange Members at their recent Christmas Party on Dec. 16, a day, incidentally, reserved by the Romans for their very wildest orgies. Saturnalia they called it.

I am trying to recall if the Grange pulled down their blinds that night. They are not giving much away in their press release, anyhow. According to this, after the reciting they cut Christmas cards into pieces and formed into groups to re-complete the pictures. Mary Russell's group won. the program concluded with the singing of old Carols. "Joy to the World," "Deck the Halls," and "Little Town of Bethlehem" rang out over Mechanic Street. Where were you, o rival newspaper? Sniffing out a Saternalia?

Next Week: Hatwatch News, Electrical News and much more.

Dec. 29, 1987

FC3 Home       Previous       Next