FARMINGTON CORNER

A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 108

Goodwin stages big hit

In February 1984, Phyllis Kuligowski launched the first small exhibit of work by local artists at the Goodwin Library. The torch of culture has since been passed on to her successor, Dorinda Howard, and continues to burn brightly, as visitors to the 5th Annual Exhibition of Art and Craftwork can currently testify.

Fruit punch and cookies are an additional incentive to make the effort and view the 100 or so items before the exhibition closes on Feb. 20. And what are you liable to see, as you trot downstairs below gerbil-level?

Oils and watercolors, photographs and designs, poetry and ceramics, quilting, lace and raffia work, traditional woodcarving and computer-generated graphics, not to mention the nigh perfect arrangement of wild flowers by B. Stuart Pease II.

Local fireman are caught in their underwear, eating melons on Main Street, by photographer Joe Henry, who also spotted the rustic charm radiated by an abandoned manure spreader amidst a clump of trees.

And if its culture that you're after, we got that too, buddy, with Edward Lord's rendition of Van Gogh's purple irises in a green vase, and Fran Gay's rendition of Van Gogh's purple irises in another green vase. Jeannie Blinkinsop-Blinkinsop has contributed a pastel that I take to be additional purple irises in a third green vase, but which someone else swears is Merrymeeting Lake.

Even more controversial is Abstract K by Milli Gay, an impression, perhaps, of what Jonah saw as he was being swallowed. It sure gives people an "L" of a fright.

Tony Quinn, star of the Nute Ridge Half Marathon, displays yet another talent with stunning medical graphics created by computer...skulls. These glare over to "Sunset on Ocean Boulevard" executed by Ed Lord with the paint left over from his irises palette.

Accompanying this treasure store of Art is an informative program (from which, only Blanche Magee's poems are absent) that shows on the cover a multitude stampeding towards the Goodwin Library, after a rumor was spread about the arrival of a new book. Do yourself a favor - make the trip, too.

Competition result

An invitation to submit anagrams from the letters: WELCOME TO FARMINGTON JOHN SCRUTON produced a much larger response than anticipated, and much of this might be described as utter rubbish. Take, for example, the best of Jeannie Blinkinsop-Blinkinsop's four entries - JOT! MAN IN TENT SMOOCH. RUE FROG CLOWN. Really! Stick to painting irises, Jeannie.

Another reader, under the pseudonym of Angus McNutt, had no fewer than 13 tries, five of which were obscene and had to be burned. Quantity merely proved a substitute for quality, though, with the best effort from this wad being GOTH, JEW NOR SCOT FLAUNT INCOME NORM. Sorry.

Old Ramgunshoch came a little closer to the winning post with CONS THE JANITOR? WRONG! FOUL COMMENT and a risky O! NOT GLUM CRETIN CHOSEN FROM TOWN? YA!

Courier staff dabbled honorably, Melissa Sauer producing JUST CHORTLE ON, WINNER OF COMMON TAG, and editor Susan creating the inscrutable COMMENT: IT'S NO CROWN FOR A HOT JUNGLE.

However, the winner of the one and only prize of $3, shelters under the nom-de-plume "Haggis Man"...his entry reads SOUL MEN CHANT "JIM CROW FORGOTTEN? NO!"

In compliance with his wishes, the cash will be donated to the annual "Buffing of the Sequins" of Lefty Lee's jacket.

This competition was sparked off by the entry of Mr. John Scruton into the electoral fray of running for selectman. Since this time, it has become a two-horse race, with Mr. Joe Thomas also at the starting gate. Therefore, to maintain political farness, a special anagram has been composed for WELCOME TO FARMINGTON, JOE THOMAS. It is MEET MAJOR FAME IN COOL GHOST TOWN. This column is now fed up with anagrams. On with the news

School news

Nurses announce that the Pre-School Vision and Hearing program, for ages 4-6 years, will be held at St. Peter's Church classroom, 90 Central St., on Feb. 19th at 11 a.m. The important state program of PRE-SCHOOL VISION-HEARING, is also known, in some circles, as O, HI, LOSER! VINEGAR ON CHIPS.

Head full of rocks

Gold-prospecting teacher, Mr. Randy Bois of Main Street School, has founded a Geology Club within those walls, and, in order, to finance a trip to Ruggles Mine, the memberhsip will be raising funds with a bake sale, this Friday.

Henry Wilson news

Under cover of last week's blizzard, somebody snuck up to my mailbox and deposited a curious letter that described itself as a humanitarian plea for Farmington Corner not to spill the beans on Henry Wilson. Full of wacky reasons, factual errors and impudence. Examples of these are given.

Reason: Henry should not be tarnished, being an inspiration to that minor political figure, Biff the Mailman.

Error: Would Bubba - not Bubber - and the Boys feel as inclined towards beautification, if Henry was smeared? (The name is definitely Bubber, and I refer the anonymous writer to Vinnie's Pizza, where lies a card under the glass table top that reads: Bubber's Diving Services - Ice Houses a Specialty.)

Impudence: Mr. Nolan … political muckraking ... gonzo journalist.

Nonetheless, under siege from an unruly section of Men's Ballbouncing, and trapped between the crossfire of the opposing wings of Little League Softball, this is not a convenient time for me to open up fresh battle front. Therefore, I have generously decided to live alone, for a while longer, with the awful truth about Vice President Henry Wilson and the strange defiant message from the shoe factory workers of Farmington.

Upbeat note

This could also read ONE APT TUBA, but won't, as this piece concerns a piano, and may lead some readers into confusion, assuming they have got this far. Even BET UPON TEA should be considered inappropriate, in the circumstances. (Get on with it! TWO TIE NIGHT -Ed)

Okay, okay, Jeanne Radcliffe, Parks and Recreation Commission member, Clemantine, school secretary, mother of six, and much else, is currently focusing her energy on raising $2,000 towards the purchase of a Baldwin Hamilton upright piano for the town hall stage. The Community Center will raise the remaining $800, and for under $3,000, a marvelous addition to the building can be obtained under a special agreement with the retailer. (Normally this particular model would sell for over $4000.)

In the past two years, over $12,000 has been raised through Community Center functions and donations from Farmington organizations and business, to fit out the stage with footlights, cyclorama curtains, balcony spotlights and overhead lighting. This has made the Town Hall a delightful setting for school plays, Farmington Town Players' productions, the Dance Review, the Variety Show and Davidson Instrument Panel's Christmas Spectacular. What is more, although the hall is also shared by cheerleaders, ballbouncers, volleyball players and that unruly sect, the Planning Board, not a scrap of damage has occurred to the new fittings in this time. A tribute to co-existence!

Therefore, it is with confidence that we can say that such a fine institutional instrument will be respected. It also locks up.

As this article goes to press, Jeanne says that already she has raised $400 ... 20 percent of her goal. Please contact her at Main Street School, or make a check payable to Farmington Community Center (Piano), c/o the Town Hall, Main Street, Farmington, N.H. 03835.

Feb. 16, 1988

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