A continuing tale of life in the boonies
Wisha! We're wordless! What waggish workmanship was wrought with wry wit. Withal, worthy word-wizardy won whoopees. Well Written, wily wisenheimers!
Yes, it's time to announce the winner of the Alliteration Recreation contest, for which citizens were asked to submit sentences composed of words starting with the same letter.
In judging the entries, several criteria were applied. Does the sentence make sense, for example? Take "Zestful zephyrs zing zymyrgyst zombies zooming zig-zag zinfandel zarfs." This is a load of bunkum whose only conceivable virtue is that it may bug the typesetters.
A little better was "Zounds! Zany zealous zebras zig-zagged a zillion zarebas; zestfully zipping, at zenith, zeroed in on zenanas." But why would a vast herd of African mammals steak towards a harem? Sorry, Uncle Nate, try again.
Some competitors obviously thought that sheer length was the key to the $3 treasure chest. How they went on and on. . ."Aging and anxious Andrew Argyle, an ace anthropologist, awaited an answer. Alone and ailing, Andrew authorised an ad asking about any attractive adventurous and airworthy alpaca's availability. Albeit Andrew already aquired an amatory alternative, an Argentinian armadillo, an antideluvian aunt, Anita at Annapolis. . ." etc. etc.
Jeannie Blinkinsop-Blinkinsop was also predictably wordy: "Dutifully distracted Dorinda drives downtown deliberately dodging dogs, drunkards, ducks and dentists, and decides doing dainty darning anticipated Andrew's anonymous ad, and approached Andrew: "Another arbitrary appeal?" Anita asked. . .Hey! Get that A-stuff outta here. All washed up. Rejection slip! Sorry, readers.
Bob Tait, passing his time over at KOST, submitted a very promising entry that must be considered for the cash prize "Always!" Andrew assented, "Any Agatha alternative activates an anthropologist." (Agatha, an Asian Argali ate acorns and asphyxiated.) An astute. . .HOLD IT! Where did that trash sneak in from?
Bob's entry is a cultured sentence refering to Farmington Town Players: "Those thoroughly talented tenacious thespians took the town through thrilling theatrical tirades that tastefully tingled tonsils to toes Anita assayed another angle: "An aquaintance, an Australian attorney, Anthony Aukland, authorises azonic anteater appeals," Anita asserted. "Are any available? Andrew asked.
That should blast it onto Page 94.
Other entries that have received scant consideration, attempted to catch the judge's eye by employing baudiness. Most of this scurrilous type are quite unprintable in a family newspaper, and only serve to let the management know there are a lot of sick readers out there. (We knew this from other sources - Gloria).
The following example may not pass the censors' pencil: "Bomar blatently blew bubbles by briskly breathing beneath Bonita's brackis (delete). "Not a winner, mister!
"Aye Andy," Anita answered. Andrew's animal averice, animated anew, automatically assuaged. . .OKAY! I GIVE UP! Everybody's sick of this already. Creator of things beginning with A, Angus McNutt, whoever you are, take the $3 prize and go on a long foreign cruise.
Beruit is particularly pretty at this time of year …
In upcoming field trips, Grade 2 will visit Conway Scenic Railway on June 3, and P.E.P. are planning an excursion to Maine Aquarium. It is no longer necessary that they describe what a fish looks like, on their return, to Mr. Beaupre. Continuing his lucky run, the high school principal hooked a massive rainbow trout, last week, which he stored in the Home Ec freezer. Rumour has it, however, that it was sniffed out and devoured by a school janitor and an alternatively ataractic and autocratic, antique aberrant. . . YOU'VE WON, MCNUTT! For goodness sake, give it a rest.
On June 1, a Fine Arts Festival will be held in the Burtman Rondeau Auditorium commencing at 7 p.m. Music teacher Donald Morse and art teacher Natalie Turner will proudly bring before the public gaze, the combined works of their talented students.
Junior Prom was a very nice prom,
And a very nice group was there,
Reuben Parker was the King,
Sherrie Williams was the Queen
And the court included Larry Bernier,
Tricia Grondin, Chris Ranstrom, Bobbie Goslin,
Chris LaPierre, Beth Trask, Andrew Argyle, Anita at Annapolis. . .
Get out of the Junior prom, McNutt. That's completely tasteless.
The 34th Annual Banquet and business meeting of the F.H.S.A.A. will be held on Saturday, June 11, at 6 p.m. at the high school auditorium, with the Class of 38 being given special honor. Reservations by June 4, if possible, to Secretary, Judge Eugene F. Nute, Box 458, Farmington N.H. Tel. No. 1-603-755-2833.
May 31, 1988
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