A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 145

Museum pearls imperiled

Back in the late 1960s, when a part of the Nile valley was due to be flooded as part of the High Aswan Dam project, Egyptologists from around the world united in an effort to rescue precious artifacts from the rising waters. Similarly, an international effort has been mounted to save the treasures of Venice from sinking slowly into the surrounding lagoon.

Now, nearer home, Farmington Corner may have to launch a major appeal to prevent the jewels of the Goodwin Library museum from being engulfed by backed-up plumbing, unless Dale Sprague, the Red Adair of sewage pipes, can bring about a miraculous reversal of fortune and flow. There have been two near calamitous incidents, recently, that have had concerned Farmingtonians holding their breath, not to mention their noses.

In mid-March, the toilet that serves patrons of the library, museum, Woman's Club and Historical Society, overflowed and threatened to engulf several priceless objects including Henry Wilson's gall stone, which currently serves as a doorstop in the museum basement. Custodian Louise Hoage did an excellent clean-up job, but on the following Friday disaster struck again. Fearing for the safety of priceless objets d'art, like the one-armed nut carver’s baskets and the gerbils’ cage. Librarian Dorinda Howard placed an emergency call to the stalwarts of the Water and Sewer Department.

Up came the cavalry to the Goodwin Library, where, being Friday, the Woman's Club ladies were manning the ramparts.

"There's the problem," said the cavalry, "too many women."

This was more than Louise Hoage could bear, and she cried to Dorinda, "They try to blame the Woman's Club, but just one little old lady goes to the bathroom all afternoon."

Several theories as to why the plumbing should back up were then aired, with even members of the Woman's Club privately suggesting that perhaps a number of desserts had been surreptitiously flushed.

The plumbing cavalry called in the plumbing artillery, in the shape of a Roto-router, and this was confidently expected to bring about a breakthrough, but instead it got irretrievably jammed. As the Art World waited with bated breath, two more days were spent poking and prodding, until the head of the Water and Sewer Department, Dale Sprague, reached a Conclusion - the Goodwin Library had not been hooked up to the new sewer that had been laid along Main Street last July. Hmmm!

Dale said that in a couple of weeks, when the frost is out the ground, he will dig an exploratory hole in Main Street, and within hours, should be able to restore normal service to the patrons of the Goowin Library building. Meanwhile, it is believed that as a precaution, the Woman's Club has suspended the consumption of fruit punch on the premises. And, as previously mentioned, Farmington Corner is prepared to launch both a rescue mission and an appeal for international aid, should disaster strike again in the coming days.

Other Library news

Mrs. Norma Park is currently exhibiting 13 boots constructed of daisy button glass. Not to be eclipsed, Mrs. Beulah Thayer is simultaneously showing 15 daisy button glass top hats …and four cups with inscriptions like Republicans are not always ungrateful, Think of me, and Ain't been home since a week past Friday.

As always, this is a Must See occasion. Coming soon - Art by Derwood. High School senior Derwood Mills proves that there is life after basketball.

Holey moley

At last week's meeting, Sewer Supremo Dale Sprague broke the bad news to selectmen about the Goodwin Library not being hooked up.

"The same thing happened with Cumberland Farms," recalled Biff Silvia.

The matter would be resolved, Sprague said during the week of April 10, when the frost was out of the ground.

Biff remarked that he was "digging graves next week."

Moving to Meaderboro?

In a bizarre turn of events that has thrown Planning Board watchers into a frenzy of analysis and re-think, a Meaderboro resident, Anne Chapline, has been dropped from the ranks of the exalted. To add to the confusion, two South Main Street citizens, Lorraine Meyer and Steve Merrill, have been appointed as alternates to the board, without giving assurances that they will relocate to the Meaderboro Road area, One alternate vacancy yet remains if anyone thinks they might be Huppe to it.

Guess which town?

A 40-hour, full-time paid position as clerk to the Planning Board and Z.B.A., with additional office work in the Town Hall, will be re-advertised, decided selectmen at last week's meeting. This time Farmington will be mentioned in the wording.

April 4, 1989

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