A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 028

Cards & Dice & All Things Nice: Farmington Lions are sponsoring a Las Vegas Nite in the Town Hall on Saturday, Feb. 8, from 7:30 p.m. through midnight. (Much later and they will have basketballs to contend with.) There will be the usual games of chance, according to chairman Bob Colpitt, plus sandwiches, soft drinks and coffee. In the few years since the Lions were first founded in Farmington, about $5,000 has been donated to those folks who were hard of hearing, poor of eyesight and short of case. Give it a spin.

Art News: No wonder people call Farmington the Athens of New Hampshire! This week it is pleasurable to announce an exquisite exhibition of ceramic paperweights currently on view in the showcase of Farmington High School. The range of ideas of what constitutes a paperweight is astonishing and space allows only a few to be mentioned. Al Punty has fashioned a most convincing golf ball and tee, while Linda Patch has modeled a mother and duckling. Scott Healy has contributed a lump, and Alicia Baud either a pear or well-known member of the Community Center ex-basketball team. All this under the enthusiastic guidance of art teacher Mrs. Turner, and well worth a visit.

Their Tiny Hands Are Frozen: The school nurses, currently up to their necks in scoliosis screening, have asked that it be brought to the attention of kind readers, that there are more little hands at school than there are mittens to cover 'em. Can anyone help?

Puddledock News: Before you could utter "creative writer," a new editor for the Puddledock Press stepped nobly out of the shadows. Heidi Colwell, known to readers as Dog Officer No. 2, and co-owner of Balloons Unlimited (remember Valentine's Day) will take over the March issue from Nora Goodwin. She will be assisted by Roger Belanger, possessor of every Puddledock Press that ever there was, town hall custodian and collector of old street signs. The paper will be put together in the Senior Citizens' Center, and, as ever, all contributions are welcome.

Forgetti Spaghetti: "Cookery has become an art, a noble science; cooks are gentlemen." So wrote Robert Burton in The Anatomy of Melancholy way back in 1621, before even Henry Wilson was thought of. Three-hundred sixty-five years later, in an apartment on North Main Street, in Farmington, similarly sophisticated strands of thought were preoccupying a gastronomic citizen, entrusted with the twin responsibilities of cooking the family supper and finishing off a can of beer. Unnoticed, the room, the apartment, and finally the building began to fill with smoke. Off went the fire alarm. Up came the fire brigade. Out went the evening's creation.

Hatwatch News: "Did you see the Puddledock Press? Did you see that we used to have a Police Force?" asked Archie Corson, eyes misty with nostalgia. He was referring to the publication of an old photograph that displayed two rows of serious and be-hatted law enforcement officers. They were indeed a splendid sight, every one of them impeccably turned out for the benefit of the camera, and nary the sign of tobacco juice. Unfortunately, as Hatwatch Hotline has not, as yet, recorded a single call, one is beginning to assume it is not an election issue.

Winter Carnival: Preparations for the Henry Wilson Winter Carnival are forging ahead. This afternoon of family fun, to be staged at the Country Club on Feb. 16, will have events additional to those advertised on the attractive posters adorning Main Street. As mentioned last week, a large birthday cake for Henry Wilson, Man of Granite, is also on the drawing board of the school kitchen. This jovial band of bakers plans to mark the 174 years since Henry's first day in Farmington. To cheer them as they bake, and especially composed in their honor is a truncated version of a little number entitled:

Big Cake

One day at the Club they saw it arrive,

It lay six by three and weighed two-forty-five,

As dangerous as a crocodile,

It wouldn't be too wise to rile

Big Cake, Big Cake, yeah,

Big Tough Cake.

Baked to honor a famous son,

Who was born and raised in Farmington,

Henry Wilson, man of stone,

Just leave his mad, bad cake alone,

Big Cake, etc.

The candles numbered one-seventy-four,

They got lit up with a fiery roar,

The sky went dark in a pall of smoke,

The crowd got scared and no one spoke,

Big Cake, etc.

Then from out of that fiendish gloom,

Came a mighty voice from beyond the tomb,

"I guess you'll need a tomahawk,

But leave a slice beside that rock."

Big Cake, Big Cake, yeah,

Big Tough Cake.

The remainder of this historic sweetmeat will be distributed in the manner of five loaves and two fishes.

Be Of Good Cheer: On Feb. 8 in Manchester, the varsity cheering squad will represent Farmington in the finals of the state cheering championships. The smallest school to reach the finals, Farmington are wowing them with the previously acclaimed Funk Pyramid.

What Grows Up Must Come Down: A tree on the property of Ron and Peggy Goslin, at the Getty station, is adversely affecting town sewer lines, and has been placed on Death Row.

Highwaymen: The Highway Safety Committee that may have been John Scruton, Willis Berry and Biff Silvia, is now definitely Percy Day, Carl Worster and Bill Fraser.

Feb. 4, 1986

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