A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 096

Colorful ideas

If color is the mother tongue of the subconscious, and if Main Street is the spine of Farmington, then painted store fronts are the mother-tongue of the spine of subconscious Farmington. Okay?

These business facades - some freshly brightened, others maturely fading - are addressing, in terms irksome or soothing, the inner cores of every man, woman, child, dog and skunk that wanders along the town's vertebral column. Electromagnetic waves from the walls of downtown are whispering to our souls through the window of our eyes. Right? (Would ya just get to the money bit! - Editor)

Well, most of these Main Street shop front colors, these sensations of light, are uncommon hues whose titles are locked up in architects' safes. But since the shades are talking to us, should not we address them back by name?

This Corner has lacked the spice of a competition in recent months, and so now seems an opportune moment to offer the customary prize of $3 for Naming the Color on those shops that have been spruced up lately.

Moreover, to broaden the scope of the contest somewhat, I invite suggestions for apt colors that businesses might be painted. For example, Happy Feet and Smiling Toes could go with Sandalwood. Vinnie's Pizza may suit Burnt Sienna. (Ha! Ha! Only kidding, Cheryl). Anyway, this is your chance to land in hot water, or in the money, by offering colors for any five of the following enterprises:

Dumontskee's Lounge

Osgood Pharmacy

Rufus the Barber

Vinnie's Pizza

Happy Feet & Smiling Toes

Dock Square Restaurant

Village Bouquet & Greenery

Barratt's 5 & 10

Smokey Lantern

Sharon's Dance Studio

Sandy's Coiffures

The Laundromat

Entries may be called in to 755-2405, or mailed to Farmington Community Center to arrive no later than Dec. 1. The winner(s) will be announced on the following week and will share $3, with the best, non-libelous suggestions published.

Going, going, gone!

Ron Dumont came out of his house on Winter Court, last week, and almost trod on a skunk that was lying with its feet in the air and eyes "all bugged out." A job for garbologist Roger Belanger, thought Ron quickly, and popped into the Community Center opposite. Roger returned with Ron, viewed the dying animal, and thought it was a job for Brownie, on the grounds that Sgt. Brown could finish the creature off with his revolver.

Brownie viewed the skunk, but refused to shoot, probably on the grounds that it was not a Nonconforming Sign. Furthermore, he considered it a very bad idea for Ron Dumont or anyone else to be introducing gunplay, albeit for the worthy cause of terminating the misery of a badly wounded quadruped.

So Roger retreated to the Town Hall coal bin, and brought forth a stout, double-walled cardboard box, placed it over the skunk, and then weighted it down with a large stone. Imagine his astonishment, when he visited the locality a short time later, to find the boulder rolled aside, and the box completely empty, with no trace of the body. Was it a miracle or the grim reaper Fitch?

Local color II

On Monday, Nov. 30, at the Goodwin Library, from 7 p.m. until 9 p.m., Strafford County Extension Service will be offering a free color analysis service. To discover the colors which suit you, pre-register by Nov. 25, and mosey along that evening without make-up, and preferably clad in white.

Dorinda, the librarian, also informed me (above the incessant grind of a gerbil on a treadmill) that she is still appealing for someone to come forward with a minor exhibition of bric-a-brack for her kidney-shaped display case.

Desperate plan

High school Principal Beaupre and Selectman Berry, unsuccessful hunters both, are cooking up a last ditch plan to bag a deer before the season closes. Do not be surprised if 350 students are dispatched into the woods under the pre-text of a nature ramble...really they will be unwitting stooges in a scheme to flush out game into the gun sights of the two sportsmen.

Warming trend

The school nurses are launching their annual appeal for mittens and hats, for the less fortunate ears and fingers of young Farmingtonians.

School Board assistance

Pssst! Guys! Wanna see Little Egypt, the belly dancer on laser video? It'll pass the time before a meeting, and beats setting off the smoke alarm by sneaking a cigarette. Mrs. Gagnon hides the keypad to the machinery, in her office. Don't say I told ya.

Fire Department News

After the dance, the song.

No indoor lights outdoors

Fireman Plante implores

Heaters near Xmas trees

Are another danger he sees.


Apologies to lovers of verse and to Mrs. Flynn (not Quinn) for the temporary use of Xmas. The brevity of this news sector was brought about by the urgent departure of Joel to make Mrs. Plante's lunch.

"If I screw up two days in a row," he confided, "I'll be so far back in the doghouse they'll have to pipe me in daylight."

Santa's workshop

The third annual S.W. is sponsored by the Memorial Drive P.T.A., and runs from 10 a.m. until 1 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 5. The Puddledock Express train, operated by Davidson I.P. will wisely bring Santa, as it is assumed that by then, desperados Berry and Beaupre will be plugging anything with antlers.

Woman's Club news

On Dec. 5, Farmington Woman's Club will be entertained in the vestry of the Congregational Church by a concert given by the Clementines. Social hour, which precedes this event, will run from 5:30 until 6:30 p.m. In a gossipy vein, it was surprising to see (Sorry, no gossip - Editor)

Ballbouncing News

Latest update. Cardinal Snax begot Liberty Insurance. Berwick Bandits begot Concert Contractors. Reggie Charette begot chosen to represent the Rochester Courier on April 15, at Portsmouth, in the Seacoast Press vs. N.E. Patriots basketball game. The Men's League has commenced. Spectators for the Sunday games at 10, 12, 2 and 4 are welcome. Admission at the Town Hall gym is free. The atmosphere is electric. Referees go down like flies. East Rochester fights on gamely for that elusive victory. League positions next week.

Nov. 24, 1987

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