A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 132

A most unlikely threesome

Overcoming the disappointment of arriving at the Democratic Convention in Atlanta one day after everyone, save the furniture packers, had departed, WOOOF's top officials have knuckled down once more to their sworn task of catapulting former Vice President Wilson Out Of Obscurity Forthwith.

Henry Wilson, for the sake of any lingering numbskulls within the Courier readership, was born in Farmington in 1812, worked as an indentured servant on a local farm from the age of 10, and hightailed it for Massachusetts at the earliest opportunity which, unluckily for him, was not until 1833. The remainder of his life (no surprise) was spent ranting and railing against slavery, until, at the age of 63, he passed rapidly from the White House, via the grave, to outer darkness.

Now, the recently organized WOOOF, as part of its campaign to bring Henry back into the sunlight, is bestowing the high honor of Free Membership to a trio of individuals, who, without intending to curry grace and favor, have done their wee bit to restore fame to this Friend of the Working Man.

This is a doubly exciting event, as never before have the three exaltees, Lloyd Bentsen, Mel Thomson and Alexander Cockburn, ever appeared before in the same paragraph, coming as they do, from widely separated political galaxies. Senator Bentsen, named as Dukakis' Democratic running mate, and claiming a direct blood-relationship with Henry, belongs in the Center of American Politics, while Mel Thomson, an ex-governor of New Hampshire who penned a Statue-of-Wilson article in the Union Leader, would be described by many as an ultra-Rightist. Meanwhile, Cockburn, author of a fine Henry piece in the Nation weekly magazine, might be more comfortable being classed as a Socialist.

All of this is not as incongruous as it might seem for although Henry, in his day, was a Republican, had he been active in the politics of the 1980s, surely he would have been ranting and railing against the enslaving system in South Africa, and in this particular respect cries of protest have been louder on the left than the right. Anyway, WOOOF being a coalition of the broadest kind, these three famous and worthy gentlemen, for services rendered, will each receive a newly minted WOOOF badge.

The badges, of which there are less than 200 in existence, might well become collectors' items, with a future value well in excess of the present piffling sum of $1.50. Designed by President Nolan, himself, the 2" badge depicts a yellow moon, recognizable as Henry Wilson, up at which three black dogs are staring with reverence. The word WOOOF hovers above them, and all of this is on a tasteful blue background.

If stocks last, the badges will be on sale on Farmington Hay Day, at the Library Booth operated by Dorinda.

Incidentally, readers should beware of a hostile organization called FOOOW, which has sprung up in opposition to the honorable cause described above. This has no connection with Farmington Corner, and is believed to be the brainchild of Abu Woodchopper and his henchmen.

Finally a message to the Bonneaus of Rochester and the MacArthurs of Middleton. Henry Wilson columns and WOOOF badges are on their way to you, folks. Thanks for your patience and sense of what is really important in life.

August 21, 1988

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